Well I have got to hand it to the law makers this week they are on fire with a couple of beauties.

Law 1.
The crazy scientists at the laboratory have decided that to lower the road toll they will get their magical satellites travelling around the world at 50,000 kph to control and limit the speed of our cars. Yep, that’s what we need, some satellite miles away controlling our cars. I know full well that this is theoretically possible but really, common, satellites are here to bring me sport from the other side of the globe, not limit my ability to push the company car to 187.5 kph. I can also hardly wait to see what happens during the next solar flare….

Law 2.
The crazy greenies, led by the gyrating walking skeleton want to ban us using plastic bags to haul our groceries around in. I actually heard one of these niffs suggest that the future bags should be made from paper. NEWSFLASH cockle head, they were made of paper 25 years ago, and they were CRAP. Every time you put to much weight in them they break or heaven forbid it starts to rain as you are trying to unload your groceries.

Notasmartman.com – Solution.
Lets think laterally here, we have two problems, to many plastic bags and speeding cars. Well hang on, I propose one law to cover both problems. If you are caught speeding you have to put a plastic bag on your car arranged like a parachute to slow you down. The more times you are caught, the more ‘speed bags’ you will have to drag behind your car. We will eventually achieve a level of equilibrium where the speeders can’t go any faster and we don’t have any bags out in the environment causing us problems.

Law 3 (This is not funny in any way)
On December 31 2007, Telecommunications Minister Stephen Conroy announced the Federal Government’s intention to censor “inappropriate material” from the Internet. [2] Under the proposed system any Australian who subscribes to an ISP receives a “clean” version of the Internet. However, Internet users may choose to opt out of the “clean” version by contacting their ISP. [3] The Federal Government’s aim is to protect children from accessing violent and pornographic websites. However, such a system was proposed in 2006 and was rejected on the basis that it would slow down the Internet and would not adequately protect children.

DAM IT!! I am sick of this rubbish!! Make the people who leave their kids unsupervised on the internet opt in to the clean version. Don’t punish me because some niff let his kids log on to butt boy heaven dot com. Take responsibility for your selves or I will take my fist and introduce it up your jacksy…. whoops, wrong website…. got to go