You already receive tickets for speeding and running red lights by robots. In the not to distant future, I don’t think it’s a huge leap to think that you may be receiving parking tickets from robots. You may receive littering tickets from robots. You may even be forced to be home in bed before 1AM because new laws don’t allow you to be out past curfew with old mate Robocop at the end of your street guarding your safety and not allowing you to go out into the night where the unthinkable may occur.

OK that last one may be a bit extreme but I sometimes wonder if we are going to get to a stage where robots are policing our streets? And if we do, what sort of power would be entrusted to such an officer of the law.

We are living in a world of UAV’s (unmanned aerial vehicles) that can be armed with weapons and attack our enemies without risk to pilots, no problem with that for me, well until our enemies use the same weapon against us. Bomb disposal robots are now used to disarm dangerous weapons; again I see no problem with this. The robot solider is well and truly in the scopes of the US government. Is it totally beyond the realms of possibility that such a robot could be repackaged into a saleable product, available to governments and ‘other’ organizations around the world?

Yes I am paranoid, untrusting and anti-authority. Yes I have fallen for the story line of one to many Hollywood blockbusters and, I indeed, should go and live with the Armish people and avoid all these evil machines. But that just ain’t going to help anyone, my place is here with you, the good old faithful consumer blind to there future plans.

I wish this ‘evil’ government had the same foresight with planning freeways, toll roads and tunnels as I seem to credit them with in controlling our future laws. I guess I am trying to say that I don’t think they are deliberately planning this future for us but there is an underlying concern it will become an ‘obvious’ solution some time in the future. Much the same as speed cameras became a solution to a problem at one point in time and are now accepted as a part of our society.

You as a free adult in Australia are not allowed to purchase or play certain games that in other countries you can all because the attorney general of South Australia thinks that they are violent, sexually inappropriate or well that’s it. He doesn’t think that you as an adult are capable of determining the difference between video game and real life. Either that or he thinks that you as an adult will allow your children to play these games and develop anti-social tendencies.

Here’s a thought SA attorney general, you will develop broken jaw tendencies if you do not allow these games into the country very soon.

I suspect this is just another case of more stupid laws being perpetuated by stupid people thinking that they are protecting the ‘stupid’ public. The law of stupidicisies.

Grant Theft Auto IV is out soon and already banned from sale here. That is not such good darts. I wanted to steal cars, punch cops, break in to houses and shoot strangers. The only way I will be able to do any of these things now is in real life.

Oh what to have on my sandwich today…

I am sick and tired of sandwiches and am in the need for some new type of lunches. Quick easy and reasonably healthy. Here is a list of the typical sandwiches I have each week and I am hoping you guys may have some other suggestions or variations that I may be able to try.

Peanut butter
Peanut butter & honey
Vegimite
Cheese and vegimite
Ham
Ham and pickle
Ham and mustard (today’s delight)
Ham and salad
Egg and salad
Curried egg
Cheese and onion
What have you got??

Part 1
I love my air conditioner. If you have ever lived in the tropics you will know the difference between a night with air conditioning and a night without it. Even in the sub tropics of Brisbane it is still advantageous to have air con. There are some people who think that it is bad for you or that it “doesn’t really do anything.” To them, I say, snap out of it! To those super smart engineers who invented air conditioning over 100 years ago I salute you!!

It is a shame that we can’t fool these fantasists who perpetuate the global warming swindle into believing that huge big air conditioners could solve the problem. Hang on, maybe they could be fooled, but to effectively tell a lie you must act as though you believe in it, this could be a stretch for me. I am calling on Russell ‘Maximus Decimus Meridius’ Crowe to lend his voice to my documentary called The Great Global Air Conditioning Challenge, or TGGACC for short. Any one interested in investing in this movie please leave a comment below with your bank account details.

Part 2
Why on earth on Saturday were we unable to find a pub in the whole of Brisbane that had decent air conditioning? The Fox at South Brisbane was absolutely ridiculous! The 40°C we were experiencing in outside ambient temperature was lower than inside the actual Pub Tab. When I asked old mate bar chick to pump up the air con she advised me that they were broken. Broken you say Fox? Well good luck for the rest of your business life because after a long period of awkward service, only one open TAB machine (even when you have two on site), lack of beer coasters and now air conditioners that have been broken for at least 12 months you can bash your bar up your clacker! It’s a shame that your good location and all the other possibilities are wrecked by a lack of interest or thought from your bar managers and staff.

Maybe the “bash it up your clacker” call is a bit early, being that the bar is in such a good location and has such possibilities, should we A) tell the proprietor of our thoughts in the hope that they make some minor improvements to rectify the situation B) vote with our feet and leave the bar stagnate due to the lack of our business, which I believe was reasonably significant; or C) continue to support the venue and put up with the problems?

Part 3
Another air conditioning thought, why don’t most public schools have air conditioning? Every other government building in the country has air conditioning except for schools. I don’t so much feel for the kids, it’s the teachers and various staff that are forced to endure summer surrounded by 35°C humid air and 30 stinking kids? I understand that many jobs don’t include air conditioning but in those instances where you are labouring or doing other outdoor type work, you would dress yourself with the expectation you will be sweating your ass off. If I were a teacher, it would be difficult to find clothing you can sweat in all day and still be presentable enough to meet little Johnny’s lawyer parents the next time he plays up.

US Presidential hopeful, John McCain suffered many arrows this week as allegations in a story written about him were published in the New York Times. Apparently, Mr McCain had been involved in an affair with a lobbyist 21 years his junior. Whether or not these allegations are true all I can say is good work champ. Old Johnny didn’t spend all those years in a Vietnamese war prison just so he could come home and keep his pants on!

But on a serious note, Mr McCain is being forced to fight a battle against the ghost of the unnamed or inside source. This ‘source’ could be someone he worked with, who had honourable intentions and felt they have a duty of care to let the people of America know that their perspective president is an adulterer. Or this ‘source’ could be an angry former employee who felt that Mr McCain was not very nice to them and didn’t thank them enough when they brought him coffee in the mornings, so they decided to make up a story about him to try and destroy his political aspirations.

The decision on whether this ‘source’ is telling the truth lies in the hands of the journalist reporting it. That is quite a deal of responsibility no?

Picture this, you’re a struggling young journalist at a big paper and all you seem to get given are police station openings to cover. You are in a rut, your stories are not being well received and your editor is riding you like a plastic pony on a merry-go-round. What would you do if some half credible former McCain assistant calls you with some interesting ‘information’? Would it be totally out of order for you to take a few liberties and chances with this source / story to keep the wolves from the door?

It just seems so easy for someone’s name to be smeared publicly when the proof of the allegations are that of an unnamed source. I guess I am happy for an unnamed source to dob in some big faceless corporation for poisoning our drinking water and protect themselves with the ‘unnamed’ identity. But where should the line be drawn? Another grey area for those engineers amongst you to ponder.

Dear Shirvy
Are you sure you don’t use moisturiser?

Answer
Yes I am sure.

Well, I look forward to next week’s edition of ‘Ask Shirvy’.

Thank you to the US Navy for saving us from the terrible spy satellite that was out of control and plummeting to Earth. You have saved us from a bus sized hunk of junk and 453 kilograms of Hydrazine (rocket fuel) that may have been released had this satellite crashed.

Hydrazine is a nasty bit of gear if you are exposed to it acutely for long periods of time. Of course, if a satellite crashes in your back yard I am sure the first thing you will do is go out and take a swim in any liquids/solids oozing from its core. Alternatively if the tank did rupture during atmosphere entry, I am anxious to see how a flammable liquid would make it all the way to the ground after the container holding it burnt up.

Instead of Government’s telling us that they are doing something for our immediate safety why can’t they tell us the truth? They do not want the classified contents or design of this satellite to fall into the wrong hands if it crashes in the wrong area of the planet.

Lets be clear, both “reasons” are for our safety, it’s just that one makes sense to any free thinking intelligent person and the other makes no monetary or safety sense at all. I would wager that the rocket sent up to destroy this satellite was carrying way more than 453 kilograms of Hydrazine.

Oh and next time you have a car accident best put your vehicle gas mask on straight away. The same hydrazine they are trying to “save” you from in the satellite is the same hydrazine that is in each and every vehicle air bag system.