Dear Shirvy,

Question, would Willy Wonkers Chocolate factory survive in Australia under our current I.R. laws? sub question would ompa lompas be considered as illegal immigrants and there for be working illegally if they receive no pay just room and board

Willy Wonkers Chocolate factory will only prosper in this time in Australian history. Workers have been brutalised into submission and now basically work for peanuts (left over from the chocolate bars). You are no doubt also aware we are in an obesity epidemic and junk food companies will continue to increase profits as a result.

Ompa Lompas should be shot on sight!! I came to this conclusion after a disturbing drunken pash I had with one a few months back. I never want to be exposed to their late night drunken allure again.

Dear Shirvy,

Do bevans know they are bevans?

If so, why do they not change their behaviour?

What opinions do bevans have with respect to other members (normal individuals) of the community?

When can I expect to receive the replacement $100 from you that I placed on India to win on Friday as a result of your “discerning” recommendation?

Answer:
No, a true bevan is completely oblivious to the fact that they are a bevan. This unfortunately means that they think they are a normal member of the community, so they will not change their behaviour and will remain bevans until they are able to break through the “inbevalance” intelligence level. They also seem to go around on websites accusing other people of being bevans.

Bevans also make claims for money from “others” for reasons known only to themselves. It is a sad money grabbing trait and one that remains unique to this select group of people.

Dear Shirvy,

I was dating a guy who was lovely in every way. We got along really well, enjoyed all the same things and generally just had a blast hanging out together. So one week we went out and the inevitable happened and we went back to his place and slept together. And it was bad. Really really horrendously bad. Technique was all wrong, and I honestly don’t think he even cared whether I was having a good time or not.

But I got to wondering what would others do if they found their potential partner was hopeless in bed? Do you stay, and help them improve or run for the hills? How important is sex to a relationship?

Answer:
Ummmm Jenny is that you?