Have you ever been the victim of an office or workplace prank that got you a beauty?

I must admit I have. As a young 17 year old kid just out of school I had the pleasure of being assigned to the worlds greatest street fighter / lover / race driver / diesel fitter and motor bike rider (or so his stories told me). It was a real honour! So one

morning when he asked me to go over to the tool store and get a long weight for him, well, I did what I as told. I stood at that counter for about three quarters of an hour until eventually old mate behind the counter give me an absolute mouthful and told me to piss off back to the workshop. Extremely confused I sheepishly wandered back into the workshop expecting to get into trouble because I had failed in my task of retrieving said weight.

Fortunately on the 3rd explanation of the prank the penny dropped and I vowed to never be the mark in a workshop prank again. I have carried out my share of pranks on my fellow workers now and I am interested in hearing some of your better little tricks. So come on, give me some new gear to use. I will add a few of mine as we go through the comments.

I have been all excited for the past few days thinking that I had discovered Campbell Newmans long lost twin brother was the dude from Todds Hi Fi. Unfortunately when I cut and paste them up against each other it didn’t quite pan out. Your thoughts?

Punters in Queensland, South Australia and Northern Territory are about to enjoy a whole new way of betting when UNiTAB launches fractional betting on Monday 3rd March. Fractional betting allows punters to make a number of selections and to nominate the maximum amount they wish to spend on a Trifecta or First4 bet type. There is a minimum spend of $3 although a $1 minimum still applies where a single combination is selected.

Fractional betting works like this. Currently, the cost of a Trifecta is determined by the number of combinations taken by a punter. For example, five selections in a boxed Trifecta would cost $60 for a $1 unit or $30 for a 50 cent unit. With Fractional betting a punter can choose the maximum amount they wish to spend. The TAB computer system will calculate the whole percentage allocated to each combination. Where the whole percentage bet costs slightly less than the maximum amount nominated by the customer, the difference will be refunded to the customer.

In the example above, a $3 outlay would represent 3/60 or 5% of the $60 full unit cost. If the customers combinations include a successful one, the $3 spend will give the punter 5% of the dividend. If the dividend is $1,000 then a 5% share would equate to $50.

Fractional betting is one of several major changes to be introduced by UNiTAB on Monday 3rd March.

Other key changes coinciding with the introduction of fractional betting include:

• the addition of the ‘Quadrella’ to UNiTAB’s existing suite of wagering products. Quadrella requires the selection of winners from four nominated races;
• reducing the unit of investment on Doubles, Trebles and Quadrellas from 50 cents to 25 cents;
• extending First4 coverage to all Australian races;
• adding a rover option to the First4 betting;
• the removal of cascading levels of payouts which previously applied when no one selected the winning combination (i.e. Quinellas, Trifectas, Doubles, Trebles etc). Where no correct winning combination is selected the relevant pool will now jackpot to form part of a future pool of the same code. Additionally when the collective total percentage of the correct winning combination selected is less than 100% or $1 the part not paid out will form part of a future pool of the same code (i.e. jackpot component) and
• introducing a minimum ticket value of $1 across all other bet types

What side of the fence do you sit? I remember a few years ago, a person known to me became an overnight sensation after jumping the fence and tackling the Powers Beer Can mascot that was dancing around like a niff at a very early Bronco’s game. He was cheered by the crowed, giggled at by the players and interviewed by FM radio stations all over town the next morning. From that time to this, the once famous ground invasion has gone from a nice little break from proceedings to the crime of the century.

I enjoyed Channel 9’s addition to the telecast as I ate dinner last night. There is something hypnotising about watching a mans testicles bounce around as he runs for glory across a packed Gabba stadium. If only my father were alive to see it!

Even more enjoyable was Andrew Symonds crunching shoulder charger that bought an end to this beautiful moment. At least I can live with the knowledge that the imagery of a slow motion shoulder charge and naked sprawl of a winded streaker will make newsreels around the globe.

My concern now is that said streaker does not feel he has been hardly done by and sue Andrew Symonds or Cricket Australia. I hope he has fun with it and takes this as a slap on the cheek, so to speak. Surely there will be no punishment for Symonds from cricket authorities either.

What are your thoughts on this? Should this go any further or can we leave it for the moment it was.

I have heard PNG Nationals call hellicopters “mix-masters belongem Jesus Christ” and I am now concerned that some of them appear to be pilots of these mix-masters.

I am a little confused; people who have over extended themselves are being helped. Why?

Nobody made them try to live out the Australian dream? Is it my fault that Mary Jane’s dream to have the perfect house, husband and kids in the perfect suburb was totally unrealistic? Did she not consider the fact that interest rates can and are likely to rise at any time? Did she not do the mathematics that on a $350,000.00 loan over a 25 year payback period she would be forced to pay back nearly $750,000.00 @ 7%.

I have read hard luck stories all weekend about the Heartland family here and the Dreamland family there. They sit there in the banks house and try and tell us that it is the banks fault and that the banks have “no heart”. After all they are just trying to achieve their god given right to achieve good old Australian dream of homeownership.

I don’t see why it is anyone’s problem but there own. They were greedy in their housing needs, neglected to explore thoroughly the worst case scenarios and are now going to have to learn that life is not about always having someone there to help you. You made your bed, now its bedtime.

I may seem heartless about this but my family learnt this lesson the hard way and vowed never to make the same mistake again and I believe we are better for it. I don’t see why this generations families should be exempt from learning the same life lesson.

If you don’t understand something about what you are doing or what society dictates you should do, go and buy a book about both sides of the argument. Read them and understand both points of view. You will then be far better informed than watching any current affairs show, who, 2 years ago were telling you the best suburbs to ‘buy’ in and now report on foreclosure hardship from all sides of the country.

Side discussion
I must admit I always enjoy hearing the story of the spruiking home owner who purchased their home 3 years ago for $450,000.00 (having borrowed $300,000.00) who sit back on there hands now with the value of their home hovering at $800,000.00 thinking that they have made a great profit. Forgetting that rates, insurance, maintenance and the cost of the home loan ie. interest also should be added as part of the “cost” of their home. Yes they have made a profit but its greatness is dependant on your particular point of view on profit.

Hey, if you own your own home more power to you. But please don’t call me into your office, sit me down and try and tell me where I have gone wrong in my investment practices against you, the almighty home buyer. Just as it costs money to rent a house and invest in securities it costs the same to leverage a bank loan and meet all of your other homeowner obligations.

A serious competitor to the UFC is starting to gather momentum. Elite XC has secured a TV deal with CBS to show four fight nights a year on free to air TV. They are riding high on the on the back of the Tank Abbot V Kimbo Slice fight which took place 2 weeks ago and they are about to present, in conjunction with Strikeforce USA, one of the fights of the year, Frank Shamrock V Cung Le.

Check out some of the excitement from Tank V Kimbo. Don’t blink.