Absolute gold. He is a man, a politician and a king amongst men, a rare feet in this day and age. John Howard didn’t get it but a knighthood I grant to this man, from now on know as Sir Busell.

If you are not aware of this man the short story is that during a meeting in 2005. Sir Buswell, other people (of unknown identity) and a ‘woman’ were in some sort of discussion. During this meeting the ‘woman’ rose out of her chair to move to a different area of the room where Sir Buswell lent in and delivered the most suitable jesture a man can give when a woman stands. He sniffed her chair!

In a normal world, where women are comfortable with their position in life, hilarity would have ensued and winks and high fives would have roamed free. Unfortunately we live in a topsy tervy world where the compliment of ‘chair sniffing’ can be misunderstood and turned into a bloody storm in a tea cup.

As quickly as Sir Buswell was knighted he has been stripped of this prestigious title. Why you ask? Because at a press conference where Buswell should have proudly defied the sparrow hearted media about his behaviour he caved. He turned his back, had a think about things and pulled the weakest manoeuvre a man can…. he cried. He apologised for his behaviour and backed up from the ‘chair sniff’ like a Todd McKenny does at a gay bar.

I am torn in this situation. Does Buswell qualify for the hall of fame based on his excellent performance or his ability to turn on the waterworks?

There are stories of an exhibition fight between Jackie Chan and Kostya Tszyu that will happen very soon. I thought I would offer my prediction as follows. It should be noted I hold a deep seated hatred for Jackie Chan and his “not so good” moofies.

He fights about as well as he attracts valid laughs…..

I just got word that Harbhajan has been suspended for the rest of the tournament. Well I think finally the Indians are figuring out their responsibility in the game and I commend this decision. A big wrap from notasmartman to the ICB and their money buddies.

You OK Harbha, you OK champ?

Harbhajan Singh slapped his opponent, Shanthakumaran Sreesanth (from now on he will be known as SS) in the face. I am anxious to see how this all turns out, I am very concerned about the reaction from those “crazy” Indian fans against the violent Singh. After all when he was in Australia and broke

the rules he got suspended (later overturned) and the Indians went nuts burning our flag and effigies of Andrew Symonds and Ricky Ponting. Now this complete simpleton has slapped an opponent in the face and not a thing have we heard from these radical fans, not a squirt of petrol, not a stomping of a flag not a chant of death nothing but a resounding silence.

I would love to have seen what happened to Andrew Symonds had he slapped SS rather than Harbhjan. I am pretty confident he would already be banned from the entire competition. And what punishment has Singh been handed for his efforts you ask? One match, to be reviewed in an inquiry on Monday. One match!! Barry Hall got more for getting head butted in the knuckles! What does Singh have to say about this? “It is not such a big issue the way people are making it out to be,” he said. “It is between me and ‘Sree’. “What you’re showing on TV, it is between us.”

This is an outrage and these corrupt curry munchers who are running the game are ruining the game. I assume common sense will prevail and Singh will receive a more suitable suspension on Monday. If not I may just stoop to their level and burn a few flags and effigies of my own.

The other bad part about this was SS’s reaction. This sort of thing doesn’t happen everyday but you would expect a different reaction than a grown man balling his eyes out. Personally I have been slapped in the face (possibly deservingly), I have been punched, kicked, spat on, burnt and had things pegged at me but since the age of 19 I have been able to control the tears (Ok except for that one time I got to Hungry Jacks and they were shut). Even Brandt Snedeker runner up in the Masters last week could not front a press conference due to his emotional state.

Come on guys, its not like your drunk and can’t control your emotions. If your sober, no one has died and I see you crying then you are in for a treatment in pain courtesy of Notasmartman.com. Consider it your 15 minutes!

I have copped a pizzling from all and sundry about the performance on the weekend. I got 8 out of 16 which in my eyes is not that bad but obviously doesn’t qualify me for a couple of houses. You happy now slaggers?

Checking out the news today it seems the government should have listened to my suggestions regarding the ‘Flame Mobile’ (patent pending). If you missed this you can read it here.

Punters club was disappointing also, I returned ZERO.

Story

Pam had lost her husband almost five years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Pam said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, ‘Mom! I have someone for you to meet.’

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away at the beach. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy knickers; he was in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, ‘Why the black knickers?’ She replied: ‘My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning.’ He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same–she stood there wearing the black knickers, and he was in his birthday suit–but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked: ‘What’s with the black condom?’ He replied, ‘I want to offer my deepest condolences’

and didn’t he……

Anzac day is upon us again and for some reason, this year, I asked myself a few questions about my family’s involvement in the great war. I don’t know much about my grandfather; he died when my father was very young. He didn’t know much about him either other than a few photos, death / birth certificates, marriage license and a couple of medals. It has never been an issue for me as I don’t know any of my grand parents, but I was interested in my grandfather due to the fact he had served in World War 1.

Not being sure where to start I entered my grandfathers name into a database on the Australian National Archives website www.naa.gov.au To my surprise there were 14 scanned documents (in colour) relating to my grandfathers service. A big cheerio goes out to the person or people who scanned these documents. I would assume there would have been thousands for WW1 as for all of the other wars during this countries existence so thanks for your efforts.

His enlistment papers included the name of my great-grandfather, which confirmed I have found the right identity. He enlisted in June 1915, where in the ‘distinguishing marks’ section of his enlistment papers I discover that he had a scald scar on his right buttock.

On this form he made his mark and swore….

“that I will well and truly serve our Sovereign Lord the King in the Australian Imperial Force from June 1915 until the end of the war, and a further period of four months thereafter unless sooner lawfully discharged, dismissed, or removed therefrom; and that I will resist His Majesty’s enemies and cause His Majesty’s peace to be kept and maintained; and that I will in all matters appertaining to my service, faithfully discharge my duty according to law. SO HELP ME, GOD”

From there it appears he departed for France on the 6/6/16 where he served for 3 and a bit years and departed for return to Australia on the 8/8/19. There are of course some other things listed during this period but most of it, I am still trying to decipher. The records are all hand written (of course) and I have found it difficult to follow the records entirely. Another form appears from 1930 where he had requested a copy of his discharge papers to replace his original papers, which appear to have been lost during an ‘incident’ at a hotel (Sounds like a man after my own heart). Unfortunately he died a few years later and while we were told that it was a result of war injuries I guess we will never really know.

My father always appreciated the Anzac day commemorations but never actively participated in them. I won’t lay claim to any real urgency to rise at sparrows fart to attend dawn service either, however I do make an effort to think about the sacrifices made and appreciate all that has been done at some time during the day.

My personal thoughts are that Anzac day is for those people who have served in war or the like. The fact that every second grandchild, niece or second cousin lays claims to the right to march is nice, but it holds no weight in my opinion, have we not all suffered? We are unfortunately at no loss of returned servicemen from WWII, Vietnam, Iraq and everything in between; if we allow every generation relation to march we will be here till dawn, the next. Limit the marchers to those who serve in my opinion, everyone else is just a tourist.

Can someone explain to me why it is so important to protect the Olympic flame?

I can barley tolerate this, and other, countries leaders having lavish protection and security detail under the guise of national security. Its getting harder and harder for the population on this planet to communicate with their political leaders. I know they only want to here from us once every 3 or 4 years but sometimes they need another reminder.

Now our country is going to spend millions of dollars to protect one of the symbols of the Olympic games, the flame. It’s a lovely little flame, it just burns away and doesn’t really do much more than that. There is this theory that the torch shouldn’t go out but this has already happened several times. Sure it’s a symbol and we probably shouldn’t let people just spit on it, but for goodness sake do we really need “hundreds” of police to protect it?

If they are really serious and the Olympic flame cannot be extinguished, then it is time to invest money in it the right way. Instead of wasting millions on police protection ladies and gentlemen I present to you the “Flame Mobile” (patent pending). Ok I will level with you, it is just a jazzed up Pope Mobile with a big hole cut in the bottom and some hidden machine guns but I think the idea has merit. Sif they didn’t bring this up at the 2020 convention, who the hell are these so called ideas people.