If Carltons coach Brett Ratten isn’t Alfred E. Neuman than I am not here. What do you reckon?

What me worry?

I read that Mark Brandon Read has 2 – 5 years to live. He may get out of it quicker for bad behaviour, if he continues to drink that is.

Uncle Chop Chop has come up with a fairly reasonable explanation as to why he should not receive a life saving liver transplant. “A transplant would save me, but why would anybody give 53-year-old Chopper Read a liver over and above an 11-year-old girl with liver cancer?”

Why indeed?

I will tell you why, we need Chopper. Who the hell is going to brutalise criminals and go hard on crime. The police? As best I can tell the police are barley allowed to use their guns let alone stop crime.

Come on Chopper, don’t make us beg. Have the operation champ.

Heath Franklin would be inconsolable if Chop Chop kicks the bucket. How will he be able to tell us all about hardening up?

I am hereby launching the save Chopper fund (he was probably hoping someone would do this). Go to your local National Bank and deposit money into the ‘notasmartman.com’ fund. These profits will find there way to Chopper I promise.