Well here we are, well into this huge event they call the Olympics. Already I have been brainstorming ideas so we can cut the next Olympics down to a 5-day event only.

Here is what I have come up with so far.

I don’t get it, why is beach volleyball an Olympic sport? It is of little interest to me even after their piddly attempt to garner interest by forcing the women to wear those skimpy bikini’s. Get rid of it.

Synchronised swimming. I think nearly everyone agrees with me here. WHY is this an Olympic sport for goodness sake?? Obviously the people that run Synchronised swimming have photos of most of the International Olympic Committee having relations with animals, it is the only way I can account for this sport. Interestingly Sync Swimming will be the only sport at the 2012 Olympics to be gender exclusive. Sexism from those Sync Swimming bitches is just plain WRONG ban it!!

I don’t really see why Soccer or Tennis are Olympic sports. Just seems silly to me. They have bigger events outside of the Olympics so I think they should stick to those.

Sailing. Well if you are going to involve something like sailing you may as well let car racing and other motors sports in as well. Ditch the sailing.

The opening and closing ceremonies. Yes I said it. I stand proud when I say I have never EVER watched one of these, I have tried but always find myself asleep. Get rid of both snooze-a-thons!!

We also have a few sports having a second bite at the Olympic cherry

Like….

Diving – Ok sport but nothing special. Now they have decided that they should have two people diving at once instead of just one. Whhooo double the events. Ditch the plurals fools.

And…

Canoeing – Used to involve one person in a canoe. Instead of one dude in a canoe they have added another dude. Snap out of it Canoers we’ve noticed you little trick, were not a bunch of snoozers. Out!

Then onto….

Equestrian – Used to be a niff and a horse. Now you have double the niffs with double the horses. Why not just ride off into the sunset you bunch of overweight jockeys!

Done. The Olympics are now down to 5 days. Unless you guys have any additions to this I will be forwarding my suggestions to the IOC. Let me know if you do.