It’s Australian Idol time of year again. A time when I am reminded just how much of a complete twit Kyle Sandilands is. You threaten Dave Hughes one more time Sandilands and I will pay for my own flight to Sydney to flog the snot out of you, you snivelling, fashion following, sword swallowing pooncey la la.

Even worse than Kyle is the audition process. Thousands of Niff Nuffs show up in the vain hope that they will be chosen to contest the title of Idol. In the process of signing up for the competition they are forced to sign over the rights for Australian Idol to use their audition on the show. Once you go into the room in front of the judges you no longer own your image or the horrendous noises that emit from your body.

Now I guess if you are going to audition for the show then you could expect to be on TV but I am not sure this fact sinks in with certain creatures. It seems that these same people who don’t understand the fundamentals of a contract, have also not bothered to check if they actually have any talent. Surely if you were toying with the idea of auditioning you would ask a friend to check out your ‘routine’ first? Unless said friends are agents of the devil, I don’t understand how so many horrendous auditions can occur.

I can watch the lead up to the audition including background story and mention of previous failures but there is something so horrific about the noise that comes out of their mouths that leads me to frantically change channels to ANYTHING else. Just a few bars can wreck my love for a song forever.

Not to say that there is some talent in the show, I am sure there is, it is just those dam auditions ensure I don’t watch for most of the season.