Andrew Lee beautifully decided to challenge his mate to a chilli eating contest on the evening of Friday the 26th of September. A chilli eater all his life his love of chilli was such that his own family grew chilli’s for him.

After challenging his mate to the contest and winning Andrew decided he was hard enough to tough out a plate for himself. He was wrong. Unfortunately he was born with the terrible affliction called Sparroheartednesstendintus in essence under the extreme challenge of eating hot chilli his heart exploded and he died.

I feel sorry for Andrew and his family but I can’t help but feel his life should be a lesson to all of us. Eating really really freaking hot chilli’s is really really bad for you… but hey… do what you feel. Just don’t be surprised if you enter the notasmartman.com hall of fame forever and Andrew, you have earned your place.

All and all an excellent day at the private box on Doomben Racecourse at the weekend. A special cheers goes out to

1. Cheers to old mate niffy from the box next door who decided that the urinals and stalls are to far away (an extra 4 meters) and he would just prefer to piss in the sink. Right On!!!!! If your interested in which sink not to wash your hands in next time your in the box section let me know.

2. Cheers to security who kicked this group out not long after.

3. Cheers to Hawthorne who carried the weight of my money across the line for a sensational win.

4. Cheers to Niconero for finishing fourth and ruining my awesome 3 leg all up bet that would have come off had the ‘nero’ run third

5. Cheers to the hot immigrant worker chick who kept coming into our box to make sure we had enough beers.

6. Cheers to the sooky TAB operators in our section. The only smile he cracked all day was when I had $20 each way on Danzippo (A niff bet in the end)

7. Cheers to the Doctor who was dominated by me in our play fight. (making me bleed doesn’t constitute a victory kids).

8. Cheers to the Tounge and Doctor for organising the day.

9. Cheers to the boys who went and got something to eat and forgot about a starving SJ sitting at the Mustang bar all on his own.

10. Cheers to the Indian cabby who copped my ranting and raving about how Australia were going to destroy India in the upcoming test series.

11. Cheers to getting home and thinking that its about 3:00AM and realizing its only 11:30PM.

12. Cheers to baked beans on toast at 11:45PM.

13. Cheers to having a toilet withing 10 meters of my bedroom at 5:36AM (no, not for a spew)

14. Cheers to Panadol. Sweet paracetamol, eases the pain.

I am looking forward to the weekend with beers, bets and other scaly wag activities planned.

If you’re at Doomben this Saturday keep an eye out for me. I will be up in the rich prick section in a box with 5 other yobbos. If a half finished stubby of Tooheys New hits you in the back of the head you will know that it has not come from my group… None of us would EVER waste beer.

Ok because you have made the effort to come here I am going to give you the best value bet in a two horse race of the year. Hawthorn to beat Geelong at the juicy odds of $2.65

In the league Melbourne should beat Cronulla but the loss of Cameron Smith is a bit of a concern. I am already on Melbourne for the GF so will watch this from the sidelines.

I have a funny feeling the Warriors are on a roll and may just roll through the Sea Eagles on Saturday night. The odds of $3.00 for the Kiwis to win seems a bridge to far, the mind says no but the heart says maybe. If you are looking for something a little surer, GET ON Ruben Wiki rendering some poor sod unconscious!

Others to follow are

Randwick Race 2 – Number 1 ‘Fiumicino’

Randwick Race 6 – Number 1 ‘Niconero’
To just run down a front running ‘Ashikaga’

Randwick Race 8 – Number 2 ‘Danzipo’

Happy punting

Yes I am a late comer to the band wagon so I just hope there is room left. After equalling Kingston Towns record of 6 Group Ones in a season, something that I only just became aware of, The Hussler dominated a field of champions on Saturday in the Underwood Stakes Group 1 to take his record to 7. For the uninitiated Group Ones are the highest class of horse race available to win and there are only a select few each season so the Husslers ability to equal Kingston Towns record is impressive.

He has put to the sword several worthy challengers in the last few weeks including my pick to beat him Light Fantastic. When all is said and done I am just not sure who can beat him.

My only concern is……..

The times he runs are not all that impressive above anything else in that has gone around in recent time. Sure he has a high cruising speed and can quicken off it but I just think that he either only does just enough to win or what he has done is the best he has. Very impressive I admit, but I am concerned that on their best day some of his competition may be too quick for him.

Don’t take my word for it, go back through his times, do your own thinking.

I am just concerned about the hundreds of thousands of punters who will smash him next start at odds of $1.30 and be devastated when a fast finishing swooper nabs him on the line.

Ahh heck, who am I kidding? I will never back the Hussler as long as I live. I will forever be in a desperate search of a swooper …… yes, it could be a long Spring.

I wouldn’t normally attack a player or blame them totally for a loss and I am not about to start now but Ashton Sims is the most horrendous carrier of the ball in the history of Rugby League. I have worn out the end of my thumb texting a mate of mine every single time Simms knocks-on running the ball up “F’kn SIMMS!!!!!!” In fact you can count on him to knock on in 70% of all games he plays, which in itself is bad, but when you consider he comes of the freaking bench it is harry horrendous darts!!!!! I would hate to see that stat if he started and played out each game.

Unfortunately for Simms and every single Broncos supporter, there was no knock-on more crucial than last nights. With one or two minutes on the clock the ball was passed to Simms for a key hit up near the Broncos line. Knowing that he hadn’t knocked on this game and knowing that he hadn’t knocked on in his last two games, I statistically feared the worst and winced as the car crash I knew was about to happen happened. As the ball bobbled out I looked down the Broncos defensive line and saw that we were in big trouble.

I know its only a game but it is the most heartbreaking loss I have ever experienced as a Broncos fan.

Cheers to Wayne Bennet for all his contributions.

Go Melbourne who carry my hopes with the bet I spoke about the other day.

In response to yesterday’s highly popular post about tazers I have decided to post the following movie that shows you how to make one out of a disposable camera. Not life threatening but entertaining enough.

Look out Seven-11 sucker!

Dear dudes in charge,

Thanks very much for letting tazers into the country for you to use against us. Thank you for the lack of security that has enabled these weapons to fall into the hands of ‘the public’. Thank you for the almost CERTAIN usage by a robber against their respective target in a robbery. Thank you very much.

Put yourself in Robbie Robber’s shoes. If you had secured the use of a tazer and you had the choice of using it and securing a victim ‘temporarily helpless’ against you, would you use it?

Lets speculate for just a minute that you have decided to rob a Seven-11 at 3AM (yes its their own fault for breaking their own hours). You walk in, tell the attendant to open the till with the threat of the tazer, they then open it. Do you then choose to tazer the sucker and take them out of action for a few minutes? or do you not tazer them and risk the chance that they could somehow over power you and stop you from getting any money or worse, threaten your ability to escape the store, or even worse increase your chances of getting caught and sent to jail.

I may be jumping to a huge conclusion here but I just don’t see how any Robbie Robber would be able to resist using the tazer as a necessity for their cause.

The flip side of the coin is that if tazers are as dangerous in terms of ‘unintentional death’ as researchers fear, then is there not a real possibility that deaths from crime could increase? Thus making the intended hope that tazers “should” save lives a forlorn hope?