Jul 07 2009
2009 Ashes Predictions
Grave concerns I have for this series and the number one concern is the heart of Michael Clarke. I have listed out the top ten reasons why Australia won’t be winning this series and why my 3.20-1 bet on England is the smartest bet in a number of years.
1. Michael Clarke has the heart of a sparrow
2. Shane Warne is not there
3. Michael Clarke is just shit
4. Grahams Onion is ready to burst out as a major world threat
5. Nathan Hauritz throws down pies
6. Peter Siddle throws down pies
7. Phil “Don Bradman part II” Hughes will show he was massively overrated
8. Michael Clark will crumble under pressure from Bingles Bitching
9. Shane Warne retired
10. Mitchell Johnson faces to much on his own
Our top 10 ways to victory
1. Shane Warne announces a come back as Australian captain
2. Marcus North pulls of a Steve Waugh like performance down the order
3. Stuart “The Question” Clark hits form and supports Johnson a treat
4. Andrew “The Period” MacDonald swings it like a mofo
5. Ricky Ponting stops doing Valvoline ads
6. Ben Hilfenhaus plays & opens the attack instead of Clark
7. Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff announce their engagement
8. Shane Warne becomes Australian coach
9. Alastair Cook realises his name is spelt wrong
10. Wally Lewis turns out at first drop
I have fear but some hope. I look forward to the first session of many. Sleep is for the weak!
What the hell is that mask doing on the right?
You realy don;t like Clark do you. England do present some problems but I think Aussie has all the answers.
Your faith in Shane Warne is concerning. Australian should win this pretty easy.
Brett Lee being out has taken the shine off my excitement at watching the first session tonight. For years I’ve been waiting to see us open the attack with two geniunely quick bowlers who can intimidate an opposition and his 6-for against the Lions the other day had me looking forward to him and Johnson getting stuck in.
I can’t believe they’ve left Harmison out. He was shit over here, but he’s awesome in English conditions and they’ve done us a big favour.
Michael Clarke says thankyou for bagging him. He is now odds-on to top the batting averages for the series.
You are on the money regarding Warnie, Wally and Hauritz. Outside of that you are a niff.
I’m not a cricket expert, but I am prepared to back England and then cheer for the Aussies. I hope I loose my money, but the financial return would soften the emotional distress.
PS perhaps too early, but as I am an infrequent poster….GO QUEENSLAND!
You poor misguided bloke. The Aussies will win this in a trot on the back of Katich’s batting and Siddle’s bowling. You really need to get over Warnie. He is gone, a has been, a never was, a drug cheat, a wife cheat, sms totting, turd, who has decided to make his mark playing poker poorly and scooping money off of Indians, playing 20 over cricket and calling himself a coach. Truth is he is a useless cricket commentator, a disgraceful husband, and a crap 20/20 cricketer. Move on young man, embrace the new breed. Get on board with the Hilf and Piddle (the s is silent).
By the way, Wally does not belong in a cricket comment. Wally was overrated as a footballer, he is hopeless as a sports reader and has no idea about tactics as a football commentator. The sooner he finds a job like the rest of us the better off we will all be.
My tip for the first test is Australia in four days.
Never ….ever…..speak of the king that way!!!
Knobster…you have a lot to learn.