All right you niffers, here is a list of upcoming sporting events that should be of interest to you. Start planning the next 2 months of your lives around these dates or I will plan a free trip to the morgue for each and every one of you!

This Saturday – 28th February
Silver Slipper Day

7th March – SUPER SATURDAY
Chipping Norton Stakes

Newmarket Handicap
Cadbury Guineas
Australian Cup

8th March
UFC 96 – Quiton “Rampage” Jackson V “The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine

14th March
Randwick Guineas

21st March
Coolmore Classic & Ravnet Stakes

22nd March
Clipsal 500

28th March
Rosehill Guineas
DAY AT TRACK

29th March
Australian F1 GP

4th April
Golden Slipper

11th April
Australian AJC Derby

18th April
Doncaster Handicap

19th April
NZ V8 Supercars round.
UFC 97 – Anderson Silva V Thailes Laites

25th April
Sydney Cup

26th April
Bahrain F1 GP