I personally want to meet the niff nuff who invented the bathroom hand dryer. During this meeting I will introduce myself with a sloppy wet handshake and grip this numbskull with the full force a semi dry still soapy hand can deliver.

Seriously, the bane of my existence when travelling anywhere are these supposedly hygienic electricity sapping pieces of crap. You are lucky to find a serviced bathroom anywhere around the world now that does not include one of these.

Their attempt to sell these glorified fans as hygienic is one of the more impressive marketing campaigns to visit our shores. Every second man knows that every other second man doesn’t wash his hands after using the facilities. This makes a ‘germ free’ exit from almost all public bathrooms tantamount to politicians giving themselves a pay cut.

Please oh please bathroom operators of this world, please revert back to paper towels. The big advantages are

1. Paper grows on trees
2. You can use the paper towel as a temporary glove to attempt a germ free escape from planet ‘no hand wash’
3. When the paper towel runs out, some niff nuff has to go into the bathroom and clean the bastard every couple of days.
4. Electricity doesn’t grow on trees

Vote 1 paper towel at your nearest bathroom. Tell them I told you “it was ok”.