The first of which are these stupid freaking gotcha calls on radio in the mornings. I guess they are on radio all over the world at anytime but for the life of me I do not understand the infantile mind that finds these in any way amusing. I do not recall if I have written about these before, I know I wanted to and then thought I was possibly being a little uptight. I have given them a crack over the past few weeks and must say, the very last thing I want to hear when driving to the hell that is work on a cold lonely Monday morning is some halfwit taking advantage of some poor sod just trying to make it through. The fact that someone known to the poor sod has ‘okayed’ the phone call does not make it ok.

Most of them are not even funny and the few that are slightly humorous are ruined by the incessant forced giggles that is overlayed by the radio station to create a false sense of champagne comedy. The best they achieve is Trevi Spumante comedy and even that is pushing it.

Next on my crimes list is the apparent change in the lovely Natalie Portman’s life. I rarely allow myself the burden of concern over the lives of celebrities I do not know; Natalie on the other hand is a different story. Oh that scene in the second Star Wars movie where her little white jump suit got ripped … oh yeah.. I mean … yeah well she is pretty hot and for some reason she has apparently decided to have a ‘relationship’ with acting dinosaur Sean Penn. Not that I have a major problem with Penn perse, he is a wife beater and doesn’t mind punching on with the media so he is clearly not perfect but why oh why would Nat (as I call her) go out with this 4 foot niff nuff?

More importantly why was I not told she was single?! Oh Natty, you came and you gave me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky…. ($0.87 to the first correct guess of source)

Oh and the last crime of the century is Wayne Swan suggesting that John Howard is in any way responsible for the national deficit. If there were schools and hospitals popping up all over the place I could perhaps understand it but I don’t notice any real changes here. All I detect is a sniff of impending crushing inflation and tax increases, the cornerstone of all “spending for the sake of spending” polices.

Not saying its bad…. Just making an observation…