I patiently waited in line to order a meal at the pub last night and was imediatley bought back to the following post. The line was huge and we all waited for 2 young blokes and there young lady friend to review the whole menu before they would order their meal. Just when I thought they were ready to order one of the niffers picks up his phone and proceeds to ring a friend and ask him “what do you want for dinner?” he then read most of the contents of the menu to him. Luckily some old bloke in front of me got stuck into them and moved them on before I was forced to spring into action.

If you stand in line in front of me in the grocery store with a can of coke (icy cold coca cola), snickers bar (get some nuts) and a loaf of bread and then request to pay via EFTPOS and you choose to not also withdraw cash at the same time…….. well you best be ready to fight champ because I am about to wrap you up in a cocoon of PAIN!

As mentioned in the rules for the boy’s article, rule 6 states that “I am not to be trifled with at meal times.” This includes sitting at the KFC drive through waiting to pick up my luscious Zinger Bacon and Cheeseburger meal and the complete niff in front of me needs to use his EFTPOS card to pay for his 6 nuggets and Pepsi (yes I did ask). I would rather you get out of your car and scrummage around on the pavement looking for loose change to pay for your meal, than sit there and wait for you to use your EFTPOS card. By the way, while you are looking for the loose change you best keep and eye out for most of your teeth that have mysteriously been dislodged from your jaw.

How can anyone walk/drive around without cash? Or even when presented the opportunity to get some cash say, no don’t need it? What is wrong with you! Are you determined to have my fists impacting your skull?

In all seriousness, if you do this in front of me I will open my wallet, find the heaviest coin I can and I will be pegging it at your head. Even if you are 10 months pregnant and on crutches. You have been warned!

Disclaimer
*Promises of bashings and coin pegging will not be honoured.