With that impending nuisance pain growing stronger by the minute in the back of my throat, I am in the position to consider an upcoming sick day. It may not develop into a cold or flu, but it may. With a fair chunk of work in front of me over the next few days should I struggle through or take a break and give my fellow work colleagues a swine flu break.

Ann Marie Valinoti, M.D from the New York Times examines further.

My patient was a 25-year-old man. He sat on the examination table, the picture of misery, coughing, red-eyed and shivering. His fever was 103. An interview and an examination suggested influenza (the rapid diagnostic test for flu wasn’t available at that time), but there was little I could offer him, other than ibuprofen and some homespun advice.

“Go home and get to bed,” I told him.

He looked at me. “Bed? I’ve got to get back to work.” He put on his jacket and power tie and headed back to Wall Street.

I was appalled. Work in that condition? How could he even think straight with that fever? Whom else would he infect along the way?

Still, a tiny part of me was filled with admiration. Here was a tough guy. No reason to let minor delirium keep him from doing his job.

I had recently finished my residency, three years immersed in the culture of house officer training. Of all the sins an intern or resident could commit, the worst was to call in sick, for it meant somebody else would have to do your work — extra patients to admit, phone calls to make, IVs to insert, emergencies to deal with.

As a resident, my greatest pride was in never having missed a day for illness. I’d drag myself in and sniffle and cough through the day. Once, I’m embarrassed to admit, I trudged up York Avenue to the hospital making use of my own personal motion sickness bag every few blocks while horrified pedestrians looked on.

Now, though, I see the foolishness of this bravura. And I confront it almost daily in my primary care practice. No one can miss a day — a minute, even — of work, carpooling, volunteering, vacation, anything. “I don’t have time to be sick!” my patients wail. Everyone must soldier on, leaving sick days to those with less important things to do.

And many patients aren’t satisfied with sympathy and friendly advice. They have come to the office for that little piece of blue paper, the antibiotic prescription. “I would never ask for this under normal circumstances,” I’m told — except (pick one) I’m getting married tomorrow; leaving for a month in the Amazon; having 25 houseguests for the weekend.

Never mind that antibiotics are useless in treating colds and viral illnesses, and that they have their own dangers and side effects. Some doctors will write the prescription just to get on with their day.

I have done this and know plenty of other physicians who have — much as we may resent being bullied and feel we’ve failed in our duty to “first, do no harm.” In fact, we may very well be doing harm. Beyond the possible side effects and allergic reactions, the nonchalant use of antibiotics in the community has helped lead to the rise of the drug-resistant bacteria known as superbugs.

“Clearly, the overprescribing of antibiotics in doctors’ offices, clinics and other community settings contributes to the problem of antibacterial drug resistance,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, told me in an e-mail message. “Because most bacteria multiply rapidly, they can quickly evolve and develop resistance to antimicrobial drugs. Overusing or misusing antibiotics can make resistance develop even faster.”

If the swine flu epidemic ever swings into full gear, I will be prepared for the onslaught of ill patients. I will educate them about the appropriate use of antibiotics. I will provide symptomatic relief when I can. And I will let them know it’s O.K. to be sick. It’s O.K. to stay home from work, pull up the covers and drink gallons of hot tea all day. Maybe for an entire week.

And believe me: if you show up to work sick these days, you are not going to earn anyone’s admiration.

The first of which are these stupid freaking gotcha calls on radio in the mornings. I guess they are on radio all over the world at anytime but for the life of me I do not understand the infantile mind that finds these in any way amusing. I do not recall if I have written about these before, I know I wanted to and then thought I was possibly being a little uptight. I have given them a crack over the past few weeks and must say, the very last thing I want to hear when driving to the hell that is work on a cold lonely Monday morning is some halfwit taking advantage of some poor sod just trying to make it through. The fact that someone known to the poor sod has ‘okayed’ the phone call does not make it ok.

Most of them are not even funny and the few that are slightly humorous are ruined by the incessant forced giggles that is overlayed by the radio station to create a false sense of champagne comedy. The best they achieve is Trevi Spumante comedy and even that is pushing it.

Next on my crimes list is the apparent change in the lovely Natalie Portman’s life. I rarely allow myself the burden of concern over the lives of celebrities I do not know; Natalie on the other hand is a different story. Oh that scene in the second Star Wars movie where her little white jump suit got ripped … oh yeah.. I mean … yeah well she is pretty hot and for some reason she has apparently decided to have a ‘relationship’ with acting dinosaur Sean Penn. Not that I have a major problem with Penn perse, he is a wife beater and doesn’t mind punching on with the media so he is clearly not perfect but why oh why would Nat (as I call her) go out with this 4 foot niff nuff?

More importantly why was I not told she was single?! Oh Natty, you came and you gave me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky…. ($0.87 to the first correct guess of source)

Oh and the last crime of the century is Wayne Swan suggesting that John Howard is in any way responsible for the national deficit. If there were schools and hospitals popping up all over the place I could perhaps understand it but I don’t notice any real changes here. All I detect is a sniff of impending crushing inflation and tax increases, the cornerstone of all “spending for the sake of spending” polices.

Not saying its bad…. Just making an observation…

Another one of Australia’s premier ‘news’ shows, 60 Minutes, last night (or tonight depending on when I publish this) showed a hard hitting story about the plight of the Panda. These poorly bear/racoon looking bits of gear that live in China or some joint seem to be having some difficulty staying alive.

As I listened to the story it was suggested that the female Panda is only on heat for 2 – 3 days per year and the male Pander rarely has any interest in fornicating at all. (Sounds like most marriages and that). They have even tried giving the poor buggers Viagra in a vain attempt to induce ‘action’ but to nothing! Seriously people come on! This is just nature working out a few of the kinks.

Any species this stupid doesn’t deserve to live surely? A suggestion I remember hearing a number of years ago (suggested about Koala’s) was that the they should be made a food and suddenly they wouldn’t be so endangered. I don’t want to have every single tree hugging hippy requesting my assassination but I am willing to risk it to ask one simple question. Couldn’t we be better directing our concerted efforts elsewhere?

All this money spent on helping Pandas procreate could be injected into many other worthwhile causes. Here are a few suggested alternatives.

The make a chick happy fund (relatively impossible I know)
The no paid maternity leave fund (the dumbest move EVER)
The assassinate the cast of guerrilla gardeners fund
The cone of silence fund (I would love one of these at work)

Have you got any thoughts as to where we may better use these resources?

Listen to me David Leckie and you bunch of no talent hatchet merchants at channel 7, attack Karl Stefanovic further at your peril. He is simply the best there is on television at the moment and anyone who can party on at the Logies as if it were 1999 and then show up for a live national broadcast mangled to the hill, gets my vote.

For those who are not up to speed, quality ‘current affairs’ program Today Tonight released a fascinating expose trying to paint King Karl as some sort of drunken buffoon. To me it was not so much ‘drunk shock horror’ it was more ‘possibly drunk but battling on’ and that to me is the main thing.

If you missed the gold you can catch up here.

King Karl deserves the gold Logie not some has been actress from the 80’s. Although I must admit to a bit of a boyhood crush on Miss Gibney in ‘the Flying Doctors’ and early 90’s sitcom ‘All Together Now’… nevertheless King Karl should be crowned as such, post haste!

Here is another couple of reason you should join me in King Karls fan club.

I also recall an incident in the late 90’s where as a much younger court reporter Prince Karl was waiting outside court to interview an accused criminal (can’t remember what the crime was) as the crim came out Prince Karl launched in with a barrage of questions. Old mate crim was not happy with this and told the Prince to “F#$K off!” Prince Karl ignored this and continued with the questions. His answer was a right hook that landed beautifully on Prince Karl’s jaw knocking him down for the count! To his credit the newly anointed King Karl rose fists a ready for some more action. Luckily the scuffle was stopped with the aid of bystanders but in my eyes, the King had arrived!

I have watched in awe as his career has blossomed and look forward to some more King Karl gold to come. Mel and Koch can disappear for all I care!

On a side note I today mourn the passing of Clearview Bay one of the more bankable hurdlers I have had the fortune to punt on. His last season or two wasn’t to crash hot but in the middle of this decade he was an out an out champ. Sadly ‘the bay’ was killed in a race in Victoria this afternoon. His death may bring the end of jumps races in this country and while it will be missed maybe it is the right thing to do.

I had the honour last night of watching the great Shane Warne once again throw down some cobra like, venom spitting, leggies in the Indian Premier League. Batsmen once resting comfortably with Warne’s retirement last night would have been digging the wedgey from their crack and Daryll Cullinan was having heart palpitations.

After just seconds watching Warne’s tiger like prowling in slips and his incessant spitting leg spinners it was all suddenly so clear. Shane Warne should immediately be made captain of the Australian test team with carte blanche to make any changes he sees fit. He should also be granted unlimited membership of the board of selectors and three comely lasses of virtue true each quarter. Oh and a pig each month.

Michael Clarke should immediately be relegated to normal player (if he can even keep his spot under Warne’s reign) with Ricky Ponting given the vice captaincy role once again. No offence to Ricky but you need a few more years apprenticeship under a master. The force is strong with you Ricky but for now Warne is still the master and has returned, Obi-Wan Kenobi style to kick some imperial arse!

I mean who else has page dedicated to one delivery here?

Or has a ‘musical’ based on his life currently touring the nation?

Once again grandstands around the world will sing in chorus…

Waaaaarrrrrrrnnnney Waaaaarrrrrrrnnnney Waaaaarrrrrrrnnnney

I have thought long and hard and do not remember the last time a world boxing title was fought for in my home city. To those who are a fan of the sweet science you have a real chance to view this in the flesh.

Two time Super Middleweight World Champion Anthony Mundine will take his first step towards becoming a world champion in two weight divisions when he clashes with fellow Australian and IBO Middleweight Champion Daniel Geale, at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre, on Wednesday 27May.

Geale, (21 wins, 13 by KO & 0 losses) is arguably Australia’s most under rated world champion. The 28 year old from Launceston remains undefeated in 21 bouts. Mundine is yet to beat an undefeated world champion and would be wise not to underestimate his opponent.

The bout is amazingly Mundine’s first in Brisbane since becoming a professional boxer and he is hopeful the Queensland sporting public will come and support the former Brisbane Bronco.

Details of the undercard will be released over the coming weeks but there was a strong tip that Sonny Bill Williams will be on the card. Lets wait and see.

I am thinking about ponying up for a ticket, anyone else interested?

I personally want to meet the niff nuff who invented the bathroom hand dryer. During this meeting I will introduce myself with a sloppy wet handshake and grip this numbskull with the full force a semi dry still soapy hand can deliver.

Seriously, the bane of my existence when travelling anywhere are these supposedly hygienic electricity sapping pieces of crap. You are lucky to find a serviced bathroom anywhere around the world now that does not include one of these.

Their attempt to sell these glorified fans as hygienic is one of the more impressive marketing campaigns to visit our shores. Every second man knows that every other second man doesn’t wash his hands after using the facilities. This makes a ‘germ free’ exit from almost all public bathrooms tantamount to politicians giving themselves a pay cut.

Please oh please bathroom operators of this world, please revert back to paper towels. The big advantages are

1. Paper grows on trees
2. You can use the paper towel as a temporary glove to attempt a germ free escape from planet ‘no hand wash’
3. When the paper towel runs out, some niff nuff has to go into the bathroom and clean the bastard every couple of days.
4. Electricity doesn’t grow on trees

Vote 1 paper towel at your nearest bathroom. Tell them I told you “it was ok”.