The next celebrity no-death is upon us and I am afraid that these whack jobs are going to make the last major no-death look like a picnic.

“What is this moron on about?” you may ask.

Well, for years as a young fella I heard rumours that Elvis Presley was alive and well. I even recall seeing some sort of ‘documentary’ on channel 7 trying to track down the king of rock n roll. People from all over the world and all walks of life would look you dead pan in the eyes and tell you that Elvis was alive and even possibly a contract agent for the United States Government. BLAH idiots.

I predict a simular phenomenon in the years to come as a result of the Michael Jackson death. I can think of a few reasons as to why people will suggest he faked his own death.

- He was so sick of his celebrity that he wanted to leave that life
- He was in so much debt that he knew his death would avoid all money problems
- He wanted to pursue a career as a jockey in Mexico
- He was a contract killer for the CIA and at the age of 5 assassinated JFK (not as silly as it sounds)

Regardless there will be a whole industry of people trying to make money from this no-death and as usual they will probably succeed.

Any other thoughts on the matter?