I verbally made it known on the weekend and now I will make it know to the world wide web, if you watch Australia’s Perfect Couple I will make it a point to come to your house individually and beat you to within 3.5 millimetres of your pitiful existence!!

A more blatant attempt at vane fame by insecure little people I have not seen!! I ask 1 simple question, WHO on this earth thinks that their relationship is so formidable that a competition on national television will result in fame and fortune beyond their wildest dreams without detrimental effect? Answer: Anyone who reads what is popular in New Weekly and Who magazine. The contestants of this show should be tarred and feathered in the middle of Lygon Street and there corpses spread to the four corners of this nation.

Let me spell this out to you. The followers of popular culture and fashion are the root cause of all that is wrong with this world. If you subscribe to their so called “culture” then you my dear reader are the niff of ALL nuffs and you should give yourself the uppercut of death before I am forced to perform the task individually.

If you would like to avoid this disheartening end, I suggest you snuggle up with a good encyclopaedia, pray I don’t knock on your door and come to the realisation that knowing who is sticking who in Hollywood bares meaning when the next lease statement on your fancy BMW comes in.

Wake up to yourselves!!