I am loving the current freeze across the greater northern hemisphere proving once again that the marketing morons who invented the term ‘global warming’ were just a little off key. Luckily they have recently fired the less culpable version of ‘climate change’ at us with minimal effect, as proven with the definite waste of time / money that was the Copenhagen conference.

You ok people trapped in airports trying to get home from Copenhagen? You alright guys? Hope you are not to hot stuck in the unseasonably warm airports.

Another issue I have for the apparent 90% of population who are global warming pundits is the seemingly inordinate amount of Christmas lights I see in my travels this festive season. Hello!? Santa Freakin Claus, do you not realise that your pretty little lights are plunging the Maldives into total obliteration? Yes, you are destroying the planet with your Christmas cheer.

Do us all a favour, smash the lights, burn the styrofoam santa, try to replant the tree, eat the pig raw and send the kids presents to Outer Mongolia for the struggling Ninjas of this world you selfish world destroyers.