1. It is sooo far away from anywhere. Seriously why couldn’t they settle their country a little closer to everyone else.

2. In the hotel rooms they do not have fridges. If you want a cold drink at anytime during your stay it involves either money or a whole production of planning including advanced knowledge of said thirst, an ice bucket and ice + plus cooling time.

3. They drive on the wrong side of the road. It makes no sense that they chose to do this but they did, Niffs!

4. I can’t understand any of them. On TV they are very eloquent but you try and ask a US customs officer why he tipped your jocks out all over the conveyer belt during a “random” bag search and see if you can decipher the niff.

5. “Random” Bag searches. I have now been to the USA twice and had my bag ‘randomly’ searched three freakin times. Apparently my luggage is made out of lead.

6. Food. You hear America is a great place for food and home of the hamburger. Bull friggen crap I say. I have had better hamburgers from roadkill. I await the arrival of a Ney York strip so I will let you know if things improve but so far bubcass.

7. Tipping is so STUPID. How much? What for? When? To who? It is soooo awkward.

8. There money is all the same colour and nearly identical under pressure tipping situations. You end up tipping some niff nuff 20 dollars for opening a door for you.

9. Locations of convenient stores. The term convenient means nothing whatsoever. My first day here I recovered from the flights by walking around this big ass mall near my hotel. I walked literally kilometers from start to end, side to side and floor to floor and not one single store was a convenient store. Sure there were some good shops but you could not find a shop selling milk, bread, softdrinks, beer or any of the normal major food groups that is essential for basic survival. Well this specifically for Houston Texas. I feel like Bear Grylls trying to survive here.

10. The week I am here in Houston (or as I call it Hotston cause its apparently located on the surface of the sun) the Houston Astros have chosen to play all there games of baseball away from the city thus ruining my long time dream of watching a game of major league baseball live. Thanks Astro’s thanks mates.

Honourable mention. They use different holes in the wall for the electricity. Just niffy.