A good giggle was had by me yesterday when I read that Leyton Hewitt had lost a legal battle for the trademark ‘Come On’.

Apparently in 2004 a Brisbane chap called John Shiels registered ‘Come On!’ and accompying fist pump with the intention of creating a mark “representative of all Australian sports people.”

Whilst Leyton and his team thought that they should have the rights to this because ‘Come On!’ is associated with the tennis star in the eyes of the public the decision suggests that just because he has been doing it for a long time doesn’t mean he owns it.

As far as I can tell Lleyton will need to come up with a new catchphrase or pay a royalty fee to Mr Sheils. GOLD!

He could be in the middle of the biggest game of his career against Roger Federer, fighting back from 2 sets to nil down, and a sensational cross court shot results in the normal Leyton “Come On!” only now he will have to pay a fee!!

What about when he is at home with the wife and he pulls of some bodacious boning and gives a bit of a “Come On!” will Mr Shiels have lawyers staged outside the Hewitt homestead ready to jump in with a cease and desist order for inappropriate use of a trademarked catchphrase?

I sure hope so! Bec would be loving it!

It does seem a bit niffy that some no name niff nuff can trademark an action that a national sportsman coined. Optunistic unfairness perhaps? But then again Lleyton is hardly short of a dollar so it may be just a case of alls fair in sport and war.

I will now be keeping my eye out for catchphrases I can steel….. I mean trademark.

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to
you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and
heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return
from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order
it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and
try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this
over and over and over….)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve

More comedy gold today from the people that bought you ‘lets invade Iraq, they have weapons of mass destruction’ to ‘Kennedy assisination ruled suicide’ comes the latest media bugger up (all right I made that last one up but you get the idea).

Apparently today was the day Dr Emmett “Doc” Brown & Marty ‘shaky’ McFly were supposed to show up and say ‘No’ to Griff. Maybe this happened today I don’t know, but one thing I am sure of is that they were not scheduled to show up for another 5 freakin years.

Media misrepresented date

Actual schedule date

The other issue is that the flying cars, automated weather and 3D holograms in the street are not yet in major production. If Doc Brown and Marty are to show up they will be expecting these so our governments had better pull their finger out. Nobody wants an upset Doc Brown, nobody.

At this time every year we are forced to endure the American’s stupid hot dog eating contents. I thought I should do some research into this garbarge so I can at least denigrate it from a base of limited knowledge.

These dumb asses have been doing this same competition since 1916 for goodness knows what reason. The current world record for 10 minutes of eating HDB’s (that’s hot dogs and buns, to you) is 68 which if you think about it is a little more than one hot dog every 10 seconds.

This year it seems that Major League Eating had taken issue with former champion Takeru Kobayashi for not signing their contract and accepting their non compete clause. What else would you expect from such a stupid competition. Is there really that much business to be had in the world of sport eating? I highly doubt it. Kobayashi was unceremoniously arrested for his efforts and over 1.5 million Americans watched it all unfold live.

In conclusion. It is seriously gross. The way shove food down there mouths like no tomorrow, the way the dip the HDB’s in water to ad, one can only assume, lube. Its sick man sick. I assume they all go out the back and puke their guts up which also makes it a waste of a good hotdog.

Wake up America your sicking the rest of the world out.

Most often in life things that I intensely look forward to can turn out to be very average experiences. But not today my fat little friends.

I just witnessed if not he best one of the best fight cards in the history of the world, something that was pretty freakin close to it. In years gone by boxing would have a main event and a bunch of undercard fights. Most of which were shithouse but top to bottom UFC 116 rocked the house. All fights were awesome! From Australias own George Sotiropoulos’s solid win to Chris Lebens upset victory the undercard was stunning.

The main event was tremendous! I have mentioned before that having money on a sporting event typically increases my enjoyment of it and this has never been more accurate. My $150 on Lesnar (plus a bunch of multi bets with Lesnar as the anchor) looked very shakey in the first round as is so eloquently illustrated in Bloody Elbows live fight update as follows by Luke Thomas….

Shane Carwin vs. Brock Lesnar.

UPDATE: Apologies for the irrational exuberance. The criticisms are fair. I’ll do my best to go back to normal.

FACT of the week
Brock Lesnar’s arm triangle could seal the oil leak in the gulf.

Here is an interview with Australias own George Sotiropoulos for your interest. I love dudes like this, the fact he is from my country makes me love it even more.

Alright, this male love-in is over!

A recent visit to the barber reminded me that some people are just complete douche bags.

FYI: I always thought a douche bag was just a name somebody came up with for annoying morons but I have since learned that a douche bag is the name of the bag that holds the fluids required during enema’s. Don’t ask me how I came by this information just accept it. I am also enjoying a long list of new names I am creating for people who I had previously categorized as douche bags. A couple of examples are ‘enema sack’ or my favourite so far ‘proctor purse’. Happy to hear other suggested variants you can come up with. The winning name will be the new nickname for website fogy Iamasmartman who I think you will all agree suits the role perfectly.

Back to the barber…

I was sitting in one of the barbers chairs (two barbers in this shop) having the master piece touched up when two younger chaps come into the shop. The first one sits in the other chair and declares he wants his normal Mohawk with number 1 blade to the rest of his head except for the rats tale which he wants ‘squared off a bit’. At that point I had a quiet giggle to myself because I remember rats tales from when I was a younger bloke…. each to their own but I was never a big fan of them.

Anyway so the haircut progressed and the young chap turned into a someone who resembled a neo nazi dweeb who couldn’t rub 50 cents together. He then proceeded to complain to the barber (rather loudly) that he feels that the Qld Police force unfairly target him in his day to day life. He suggested that he gets pulled once a week by the Police and that they harass him for no good reason.

News Flash champ, dress up like a crim and you will be suspected of being one.

Because you are so clearly a douche bag I have included the following examples of why the police force harass you.

Example of your crim look

Example for the look that ensures police do not bother you

Its all up to you champ