I like magic. I like it when the dude somehow guesses what you are thinking.

Does anyone either

a) know how they do it? or

b) can confirm that it is all a set up?

I have seen these around the traps and finally though it was time to try it. Not really knowing what souvlaki is I wondered in and spent a few minutes looking at the menu to figure out what to order.

Nothing really lept out at me so I decided to try the Aussie Beef Special with chips. It is some sort of Kebab type thing that was jammed full of beef, bacon, egg, cheese, salad and some sort of sauce. As I eagerly attempt to unwrap my “souv” most of the “beef” dropped out onto the table. As I attempted to rebuild my souv I noticed that the bottom section of the souv had split open and a few large soggy pieces of paper were now inside my souv. Strike one.

I thought I should take a break from the souv resurrection and try a few chips. The first 3 were good but they were clearly strategically placed on top to hide the raw potato nestled below. Strike two.

I am willing to forgive the first two and chalk it all up to a one off ‘Souvilaki Hut bad day” but strike three was not so much fun as I felt off colour for a few hours. I am not sure what it was that caused it but I am definite it was not the wheat bix I had for breakfast.

It entertains me greatly the medias current disdain for Mark Latham. As if they and they alone are eligible to question the politicians of this nation. Worse than this is there complete unwillingness to themselves be questioned by anyone else.

As it stands Latham has been employed by channel Nine to report on the election campaign for 60 minutes. It is a little different but hardly illegal or wrong.

Nines political editor, Laurie Oakes, has claimed an internal leaker from the Labour party has given him a bunch of information that the party may have preferred be kept internal. Oaks has refused to divulge the identity of the leaker. When Latham asked Oakes to accept an interview with the Latham to answer questions about the matter Oakes was less than interested. Oakes has since launched a verbal tirade against the former labour leader that seems way out of proportion to the questions that were asked.

Not only has Oakes attacked Latham, all and sundry are having a crack at him. Phillip Coorey of the Sydney Morning Herald told us that Latham is “a sad parody of himself”. Fairfax’s Damien Murphy has called him a “serial boof”, Nines, Ben Forhdam has giving him several pizzlings and even Nines ‘Entertainment’ reporter Peter Ford has called Latham “an embarrassment” for everyone who works at channel Nine.

It appears unless you have been accepted into the media’s little clique you have no right to have a go at it yourself. I will be watching 60 mintues Sunday night to see what Mr Latham has to say.

YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a sophisticated investor and part owner of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia I am very happy at todays news from the CBA. In case you missed it…

THE Commonwealth Bank has reported a record net cash profit of $6.1 billion, up 42 per cent from last year.

But just as it is happy news for anyone with the testicular fortitude to invest in said bank it is a sooky day for many of our customers. For some reason our customers feel that we should give them loans for nothing. I have the following for them.

Dear my CBA customers,

SJ
CBA Shareholder

During the current federal election campaign I have been interested in a new word I do not recall hearing before.

Hustings

I have been thinking that this is some stupid word like segue that one journalist used at the start of the campaign and all others have blindly copied to make them all look like a big man on campus.

I was considering writing a tirade of death destroying all who have used Hustings but luckily I checked with my good friends at Dictionary dot com. Luckily they saved me from looking like a douche bag.

hus·tings   [huhs-tingz] Show IPA
–noun ( used with a singular or plural verb )
1.
(before 1872) the temporary platform on which candidates for the British Parliament stood when nominated and from which they addressed the electors.
2.
any place from which political campaign speeches are made.
3.
the political campaign trail.
4.
Also called hustings court . a local court in certain parts of Virginia.

That could have been embarrassing!

The is this chick that is stalking me at the moment. Its a little awkward.

Have any of you got any ideas how I can let her down gently?

Did you notice a week or two ago that your phone started working really slow? You did, that’s no good mate. Did you happen to perform the I Phone update at around the same time? Yes, that seems odd …. Oh no wait a minute, no it doesn’t. You have been techepeded.

Allow me to explain. Steve Jobs and the chronies at Apple have made the latest update for your current I Phone work really really slow just around the time that surprise surprise they have a new and improved phone just available that is better, more powerful and more importantly faster than your current old piece of crap I Phone.

Yes, that is correct I have invented yet another new word. You are correct to mumble to yourself “why can’t I be as prolific as the author?” keep trying.

Techepeded [tecky-peed-ded]
Technology that is purposely restricted in performance by the manufacturer for the purpose of pissing their clients off in the vain attempt you will ditch their superseded product for their all-new and improved new release product.

Verb example
Steve Jobs has bent you over a log and techepeded you.

You poor I Phone hacks have three choices.

Choice 1. Steve Jobs techpediates the crap out of you and you buy the I Phone 4.

Choice 2. Keep using your I Phone 3 at the speed of a flying dugon.

Choice 3. Stop being an I Phone clone like every-other mother and be an individual. Like this guy.

Oi