I recently came across a couple of ladies who are on an interesting quest in life. They are scouring the earth looking at different dudes with the perspective of their G’Banger-dropping capabilities and then they write about it. It was an interesting two-on-one date to say the least so I let them have a crack and have put their responses here. Some liberties may have been taken.
Brooke’s View
Doability – He’s really not doable. Except that he knows this so he’s really kind of awesome in other ways. Which then makes him doable. It’s called the circle of doability.
Perceived Skills – The Truffle Shuffle, picking up heavy things and putting them down, super splashworthy belly flops.
Pet Name – Bubbles
Imagined Dream Date – Shirvo’s going to be making his bid at the Four’N Twenty Pie Eating Contest and of course I agree to go as his cheering section. While I know that he doesn’t stand a chance against Barry Rigby (the guy’s a friggin’ legend) I still think that Shirvo can represent. And boy does he. He comes in a respectable third place and we head home for the day so that Shirvo can digest. Sweet Lord does he digest. The sounds and smells coming from his body after downing 40 hot pies is more than I can handle. I spend the rest of the night with my head in the toilet. But on a positive note Shirvo brings me something to tie my hair back with. How considerate!
Long Term Relationship Potential – I’m gonna stick around with this one. I get addicted to resting my head on his belly. It’s like falling asleep on a pillow of clouds and angel kisses.
G’Banger-dropper Rating – 3 – Eh, why not?
Vicky’s View
Doability – Shirvo is the guy that is always in the background cause, you know, he doesn’t stand out as being particularly doable. But then, after you’ve spent eons dating douchebag after douchebag, you realize Shirvo has always been there to make you laugh and feel generally awesome about yourself. Then you start to say, “Hey! Was my knight in shining armor here all along???” Cue Vanessa Williams “Save the Best For Last.”
Perceived Skills – Always opens doors for the ladies, knows the location of every fast food restaurant within a 10 mile radius, calls old ladies M’am.
Pet Name – Muffin
Imagined Dream Date – Come on, it’s Shirvo! We’re going eatin’! Muffin takes me on a tour of the best restaurants in the city. He has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of good food, and we absoultely gorge ourselves. No culinary rock is left unturned. I invite Muffin by to my place for a little “nightcap” but we’re so bloated and full that we just end up sitting on the couch rubbing our engorged bellies. All in all, a good night.
Long Term Relationship Potential - Here’s the thing about a guy like Shirvo. Once you’ve been together for a while, you really can let yourself go cause, who is he to complain? Go ahead and have that extra piece of pizza. Dessert? Yes please!! Unfortunately, 10 years pass and you’ve got type 2 diabetes, you can no longer see your shoes, and you’re at risk for a heart attack. But hey, at least you’ll die full and happy.
G’Banger-dropper Rating – 3 – Eh. Why not?
