Jul 01 2009
My social rules for the boys
It has been a while since I have let you all know how to behave around me when we are socializing so I have decided to post a reminder here. One or two new ones also.
1. If you get into a shout in a bar with me and its your turn to shout, you go buy the freakin beer as soon as I finish mine….. not when you finish yours.
2. If you find yourself falling behind in a shout and you want to pull out because you realise you have made a fatal error in getting in a shout with me, no problem! Purchase your owed round and announce your withdrawal from the shout. You will be called a blouse but you will get over it.
3. Wearing Speedos when you swim in my presence is banned.
4. Giving me crap for urinating in a cubicle is banned, I use them for a special reason…… you know the song.
5. Sidling me when on fire with some pog is banned. If you sidle me, you die.
6. Do not touch my food when I am eating. I am not to be trifled at meal times.
7. Do not ever expect me to line up or pay a cover charge for a night club… EVER
8. You don’t by drinks for random chicks you have just met. Unless they are a friend of a friend, even then its borderline.
9. I don’t walk around night clubs, they walk around me.
10. If we have to walk anywhere and its more than 300 meters (the average length of my tee shots) I would prefer it if we called a cab.
11. Unless its 21°C or less then it is indeed hot.
12. If you get into a shout in a bar with me and its your turn to shout, you go buy the freakin beer as soon as I finish mine….. not when you finish yours. Yes, It is that important.
13. If we are eating at a restaurant and you need to pass wind, you may do either one of two things. 1. Get up leave the eating area and relieve yourself. 2. Hold on until we are done. If you decide to take the sneaky easy option and I become aware of it….. be warned nuckles are soon to arrive on your face!
14. If we go into a bar and just standing in one spot means I am having to constantly move out of the way of other patrons trying to move around then that bar is to full. You get one warning that we are leaving. If you don’t leave then enjoy the cab ride home alone because I will be gone!
15. Do not talk to me when horses are racing or two dudes are fighting. DON’T DO IT!
16. I am sure there is one…..
I miss “the song”. Though as a dad I get to make up songs all the time.. something you’d be good at SJ!
You sound like a tight individual.
Why are you so angry SJ……………you need some help?
You are just a thug SJ. You are the type of loser who gets into fights at their sons football games!
You are also dumb, stop repeating yourself…1 & 12 above are the same thing!!
iamasimpleton, I have found where you work. You are the assistant manager at KFC in town here. I am coming in to see you tonight so be ready clown.
http://www.news.com.au/business/story/0,27753,25823255-462,00.html
SJ – Could you please clarify point 13.
If you have ordered and no one at the table has received their meal is it acceptable to pass wind?
I am interesested in your comments as this occurred on the weekend and you did NOTHING! No knuckles only chuckles