More gold. I think he has said all he can say! Now there is nothing left but to fight.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship returns on Sunday, August 8th (12:00 PM Brisbane time), and fight fans will be treated to a world championship showdown between middleweight title holder and pound for pound king Anderson “The Spider” Silva, and number one challenger Chael Sonnen. Silva has dominated the 185-pound division since 2006, but in Sonnen, he may be meeting the one man with the style and determination to unseat him from the throne. Also in action will be welterweight legend Matt Hughes, who will take on jiu-jitsu wizard Ricardo “Big Dog” Almeida.

*Free 30 min pre show prior to all plays. No prelims for this UFC event

Chael ‘Freckles’ Sonnen is putting out some more gold here with his predictions about UFC 117.

All right kids, I am back from the US and still adjusting to the time lag. I offer the following as a brief comical replacement to my normal good gear.

My mate Freckles lost his shit (again) recently and this time it was in an important business meeting. Beautifully there were some in-genius friends available to record the carnage for everyone to enjoy on the interweb.

Here tis

1. It is sooo far away from anywhere. Seriously why couldn’t they settle their country a little closer to everyone else.

2. In the hotel rooms they do not have fridges. If you want a cold drink at anytime during your stay it involves either money or a whole production of planning including advanced knowledge of said thirst, an ice bucket and ice + plus cooling time.

3. They drive on the wrong side of the road. It makes no sense that they chose to do this but they did, Niffs!

4. I can’t understand any of them. On TV they are very eloquent but you try and ask a US customs officer why he tipped your jocks out all over the conveyer belt during a “random” bag search and see if you can decipher the niff.

5. “Random” Bag searches. I have now been to the USA twice and had my bag ‘randomly’ searched three freakin times. Apparently my luggage is made out of lead.

6. Food. You hear America is a great place for food and home of the hamburger. Bull friggen crap I say. I have had better hamburgers from roadkill. I await the arrival of a Ney York strip so I will let you know if things improve but so far bubcass.

7. Tipping is so STUPID. How much? What for? When? To who? It is soooo awkward.

8. There money is all the same colour and nearly identical under pressure tipping situations. You end up tipping some niff nuff 20 dollars for opening a door for you.

9. Locations of convenient stores. The term convenient means nothing whatsoever. My first day here I recovered from the flights by walking around this big ass mall near my hotel. I walked literally kilometers from start to end, side to side and floor to floor and not one single store was a convenient store. Sure there were some good shops but you could not find a shop selling milk, bread, softdrinks, beer or any of the normal major food groups that is essential for basic survival. Well this specifically for Houston Texas. I feel like Bear Grylls trying to survive here.

10. The week I am here in Houston (or as I call it Hotston cause its apparently located on the surface of the sun) the Houston Astros have chosen to play all there games of baseball away from the city thus ruining my long time dream of watching a game of major league baseball live. Thanks Astro’s thanks mates.

Honourable mention. They use different holes in the wall for the electricity. Just niffy.

A good giggle was had by me yesterday when I read that Leyton Hewitt had lost a legal battle for the trademark ‘Come On’.

Apparently in 2004 a Brisbane chap called John Shiels registered ‘Come On!’ and accompying fist pump with the intention of creating a mark “representative of all Australian sports people.”

Whilst Leyton and his team thought that they should have the rights to this because ‘Come On!’ is associated with the tennis star in the eyes of the public the decision suggests that just because he has been doing it for a long time doesn’t mean he owns it.

As far as I can tell Lleyton will need to come up with a new catchphrase or pay a royalty fee to Mr Sheils. GOLD!

He could be in the middle of the biggest game of his career against Roger Federer, fighting back from 2 sets to nil down, and a sensational cross court shot results in the normal Leyton “Come On!” only now he will have to pay a fee!!

What about when he is at home with the wife and he pulls of some bodacious boning and gives a bit of a “Come On!” will Mr Shiels have lawyers staged outside the Hewitt homestead ready to jump in with a cease and desist order for inappropriate use of a trademarked catchphrase?

I sure hope so! Bec would be loving it!

It does seem a bit niffy that some no name niff nuff can trademark an action that a national sportsman coined. Optunistic unfairness perhaps? But then again Lleyton is hardly short of a dollar so it may be just a case of alls fair in sport and war.

I will now be keeping my eye out for catchphrases I can steel….. I mean trademark.

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to
you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and
heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return
from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order
it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and
try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this
over and over and over….)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve

More comedy gold today from the people that bought you ‘lets invade Iraq, they have weapons of mass destruction’ to ‘Kennedy assisination ruled suicide’ comes the latest media bugger up (all right I made that last one up but you get the idea).

Apparently today was the day Dr Emmett “Doc” Brown & Marty ‘shaky’ McFly were supposed to show up and say ‘No’ to Griff. Maybe this happened today I don’t know, but one thing I am sure of is that they were not scheduled to show up for another 5 freakin years.

Media misrepresented date

Actual schedule date

The other issue is that the flying cars, automated weather and 3D holograms in the street are not yet in major production. If Doc Brown and Marty are to show up they will be expecting these so our governments had better pull their finger out. Nobody wants an upset Doc Brown, nobody.