Feb 19 2008
Street Fight Etiquette
I only bring this up because I am not sure what is allowed and what it frowned upon. Is it an all open affair where you can use any weapon available or should we limit our selves to the good old knuckle?
I think glassing is terrible darts and if you do it you should be in quite a deal of trouble. But what happens if someone tries to glass you? Should you just stand there knuckles extended or are you in turn, allowed to pick up a glass and start stabbing?
What do you do if you suddenly find Bruce Lee’s twin brother coming at you with heel kicks and cartwheels like some sort of acrobat? Can I in turn sweep the leg Karate Kid style and go for an exposed knee?
In this day of cage fighting, a sport I will admit more than a passing fancy, can I defend myself with some shoot in wrestling tactics backed up by some good old fashioned ground and pound with elbows from all directions?
Hitting people when they have gone down?
Hitting them in a headlock?
Kicking them in the jubblies?
Hair pulling allowed (if your opponent has a stupid looking ponytail)?
Crying like a baby, waiting for them to turn around in disgust, hitting them in the back of the head and running like hell?
Waiting for the fight to blow over and attacking them later when they are not ready?
Sending your girlfriend in to fight for you?
Pissing your pants so they wont touch you?
Are any of these things considered, ok?
Should street fighting techniques and etiquette be taught in our schools to ensure that our kids are on the same level when it comes time for a good old dust up? Like the sex education that was forced down our throats, teach the kids something that can actually save lives. There will always be fights, it is just knowledge that can keep fights safe.
Let me know your thoughts.
How about biting peoples ears off?? If you don’t mind chewing on a bit of grissle.
One of my favourite Tyson quotes….’I will eat your heart & I want to eat his children’. Think he was referring to Lennox Lewis who stole his Big Mac meal.
Back on the fights though….it needs to be man on man, no weapons of any kind used. Feel free to use your legs for a kickbox to the head. But as soon as you pull that bar stool up and crack it over your opponent I say it’s now an all in on YOU!!
Can’t agree with hitting a bloke when he’s down though, or when their back is turned….shows you’re a bad sport.
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I do remember watching Tyson bite Hollyfields ear off live on PPV and thinking “holy crap, he just bit his ear off”. Pretty grusome but it certainly had me on the edge of my seat. The Roman collesium audience came out of me.
SJ
You forgot my personal favorite – the nipple cripple! Much like a death hold, it can cause tears in the eyes of even the toughest opponent.
Ask Shirvy: If you dont shear a sheep, will its wool grow so big that its legs are consumed and virtually become a cotton wool ball?
I cringe at the idea of my son one day doing some of the idiotic things I have done on the piss. I cant keep him at home forever but when it becomes ok to pickup a glass and slash someones face, then I will have a lot of sleepless nights waiting for the phone call….
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I have a feeling your son inherited his mothers genes meaning that he may in fact be able to fight!
SJ
No hitting in the jubblies.
No weapons.
No faking.
Anything else is fine!
I have named some of your suggested moves
“The Velcrap” – Crying like a baby, waiting for them to turn around in disgust, hitting them in the back of the head and running like hell?
“The Krusty” – Sending your girlfriend in to fight for you?
“The Velcrap II” – Pissing your pants so they wont touch you?
The IASM – “Please don’t punch me….i only fight online”
The IASM II – CHINESE BURN!!
Make up your own jokes niff…you’ve just recycled Shirvo’s post there….as usual, nothing original
1st one…….. very funny (did SJ help you there? It was a total contrast to the usual dull dreary dimwitted Velcrap ?)
2nd one……..nobody will be surprised by it from YOU!
What you call recycle, I call refine.
Thought for the day – It can only be called a refinement if you improve on it.
I think Shirvo’s effort was better
I never want to face this one with my children either. Its pretty bad that people glass other people. I thing this one is a responsibility for the parents. They should teach their kids that fighting is not acceptable but if it does happen you should never resort to weapons.
While you guys fight I’ll be walking the girls back to my place
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Take me with you.
SJ
Shirvy & I know a guy whose fighting style would leave no chicks standing to walk home!!
-Fighting with weapons is not on.
-Nor is hitting in the private regions
-I’m very happy to go the headlock etc if required.
-Pulling of ponytails is acceptable & encouraged.
I remember the good old days when you could get into a bar room brawl (even start the odd one – Gav) & there was very little risk of a knife getting pulled on you or a glass shoved in your eye. All you had to worry about was the odd king-hit from behind. I had enough trouble winning fights back then so I certainly would hate to get into any fisticuffs these days.
As a not so smart man once said “…..ARE YOU THE BEST THEY’VE GOT????…tuck & roll …tuck & roll….”
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Out of interest, what are your thoughts someone who is, say around 5’10″ 95kG attacking a 4′ 50kG jockey?
SJ
what can I say, fighting revolts and sickens me! What I find even more disgusting is the girls getting involved as much as the guys. Very uncool, although some of the girls these days fight better then the guys.
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Yes, I have seen some women who would rather stay and watch two blokes go at it than leave the scene. I remember one I was with one night tell me to F’ off cause she was gonna stay for the fight. I decided that she is over 21 and can make her own decisions. I enjoyed the rest of my night with other friends.
SJ
hhhellooo Blowgirl. FYI I’ve cooled down my relationship with Miss Sydney & I’m keen to take ours to the next level. What are your thoughts?
PS: I would only fight to protect someone I love. (Or if I saw Velcrap in person!)
didn’t I tell you that miss sydney and I are taking it to the next level?
Blowgirl let me know if you girls run out of batteries! I’ll change them no charge
The girls at 3am are just as bad as the boys and the whole thing is a disgrace. They use alcohol as an excuse to fight with each other and vent their built up aggression.
Iamasmartman.com I was unaware that you were finished with me. When were you going to tell me? Last time I heard from you, you were still trying to ‘catch up’ with me. You’d better steal that flash car again if you’re going to keep up with me.
Maybe blowgirl and I can ‘catch up’ with some of the other readers on this site. They seem much nicer than you!
You go girl!
Cold shower time.
Blowgirl & Miss Sydney, I’ll replace you both then!
I’ve met someone else online. She’s a lovely girl, she likes sports, is NOT racist, loves animals, particularly birds (of the feathered variety). She answers to the online appellation of the Deepthroated Swallow.
Yr a D*%KHEAD IASM.com….as a matter fact….you are all SOFTC#*K’S.
The photo of you SJ on the top of the page looks alot like Mark “Chopper” Reed. He would be disgusted in you.
Harden The F#*k up..
HankE
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Thanks for dropping by HankE.
SJ
Shirvo, you need to chop your ears off, then you will be the spitting image.
BTW maybe we should start calling IASM.com “Showbag”, worth $20 and full of sh!t.
Wank E, if you come onto MY site & castigate me or the “official” creator again, I will track you down & have my people “deal” with you…you bevan LOSER!!!!
Krusty, get back in the caravan & watch that your fat Carnie wife doesn’t eat all the real showbag contents before you have chance to sell them at Easter Show!!!
whatever, Showbag.
If your new girlfriend likes animals….she’ll love you showbag!!
Love your work Krusty
Velcrap, I take it that you’re single or do you have a big-fat-chocaholic-credit-card-abusing-low-life-gun-toting-tart like Krusty’s wife at home?
mmmm I like tarts.
SJ…..Megaman says a very BIG thankyou for the 95 Kgs!!!!!!!!!!
Understand the issues with glassing. What about coining??
Krusty, you had me with the showbag call until you replied.
IASM – I am still waiting for you to contribute to this forum with ‘YOUR’ insights if you have any as opposed to mocking others. What have you got!
Here are my insights AGAIN just for you Skunksy you bevan boofhead!!…
“No hitting in the jubblies.
No weapons.
No faking.
Anything else is fine!”
Poor little Skunksy is obviously not enjoying the humorous taunts of his workshop buddies who use his fat ass crack cleavage as a slot machine. Pull your pants up or lose some weight you fat bevan lowlife!!
PS: I’m glad you too reviewed Krusty’s “whatever” comeback as pitiful.
To be fair IASM, Tunksy cannot read your entries due to a birth defect called eyeis slititis!
Surprise Surprise….its official….IASM is a d%#khead. “WANK E” I like it….I might be out of line here but I think I can speak for most guys on this Blog….”wanking is a good thing”
Cant wait to see what you come back with champ….something real witty maybe? Something thats gunna make us laugh, not make us think yr a d%#khead.
Wank E
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You still seem angry Hank E. Are you getting all your vitamins?
SJ
Wank E, is that you Velcrap?
3..2..1… & GOODNIGHT!!!!
IASM.com you have described Reeeegitz to a tee and Reeeegitz has described IASM.com to a tee. Are you the same person?
Now I get it. Are you Asian as well Tunksy?
not slow are you Showbag!
MY NAME IS iamasmartman.com!!! Use it!!
I do NOT like being called Showbag. So please stop calling me that.
You OK Showbag? You Ok?
Some Reeegitz gold in there!
What can we expect to see in the IASM Showbag at this years show?
- moisturiser
- a copy of ‘Trucks n Girls’
- a bowl of Sweet and Sour Pork
- a stolen BMW
- a years subscription to rsvp.com
- a copy of ‘Online Fighting for Dummies’
- this phone number 0428 288 137
Are you sure that’s worth $20 Krusty? I was thinking more 20c
20 cents sounds about right. should put that number into the phone tracker and see where it ends up http://www.sat-gps-locate.com/