Feb 15 2008
Valentines Day Massacre
I enjoy Valentines Day. It is always a good giggle as the women get a predictable bunch of flowers, men get shafted with the huge bill for something that lasts about 4 days and the florists count their cash and hope to hell they can keep the doors open till Mothers day.
In line with my no gifts policy I was happy to receive no flowers today. I did receive a drunken text message but I was able to quickly delete it before I was influenced in any way.
It is interesting to me that the women who receive these flowers are so happy when they arrive. I mean, wouldn’t the gift mean more if it were given on a day when the TV Radio and ‘other’ media are not reminding you of your Valenduty (yes I have created yet another new word) every five minutes?
But hang fire on those flowers boys there is hope for us yet…. The wonderfully advance David Levy PhD has advised us that by mid 2050 we will have artificial robots that will be close enough to human that we can have ‘relations’ with them. Last I checked you don’t have to buy robots flowers.
So scratch the last 50 years gentlemen, we will have ‘someone’ back in the kitchens, cooking our dinners, cleaning our houses and bringing us beer when watching sport soon enough. It just won’t be real women….. I can live with that, I just cant live that long. Hurry up Dr Levy get these robots into production.
Don’t worry ladies you can get a robot as well. I would be interested in knowing what sort of robot you would get? A smooth looking pretty boy? a massively endowed handy man? Do tell.
This is where you need to understand the fairer sex SJ it’s not about the flowers It is all about the status. Women are strange creatures but if you let your’s done on the day every other women is getting flowers then be prepared not to get layed that day …….Me I can’t take the risk the drought might last more than 24 hours so the flowers arrived on time.
All I did was make my wife feel better about herself is that a crime when she has to put up with my shit 24/7 who else is going to wash my jocks
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Who is going to wash your jocks? Those freakin robots I was talking about. They will even sniff them if you ask them too.
SJ
Your crazy SJ!! you are risking your life if you go out in public as you have done and suggest Valentines day is stupid.
Even I know that is a no no.
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Risking my life, pffffft, what are they gonna do? drown me in tears?
SJ
In 50yrs times I won’t need jocks so until then I’ll live with the whole
“Flower Envy”
thing.
$60 for flowers got me what a pro would charge $400 in extras for ……..worth the investment if you ask me
$400 holy moley. is that what they are chargind these days. I am definatley going to be extra nice to my wife then.
I am with you Woody. You get more with a cup of honey than a bucket of vinegar.
as for these robots there is no way known they are gonna be anygood. just look at terminator and how dumb they are in that movie, they are to robotic in there movements. Would be horrible in the sack.
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Please don’t base your opinions on robots based on the moofies.
SJ
It’s not even all about flowers, so if you don’t like buying flowers, do something else.
I like to think of it as a day where somebody shows you that you care. And you can do that in many different ways.
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If we gave you the $60.00 cash would that be ok?
SJ
I got flowers and my man was rewarded well! It doesn’t take much to keep we girls happy. Oh and SJ I already have a battery run robot…love it!
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Imagine if that robot could also vacuum and cook. Happy days.
SJ
thats just depends on the extras you want Rob b
SJ I have to ask the question…do you get the girls, I think NOT. You need some serious coaching.
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I will add this ‘question’ to the Ask Shirvy collection for Sunday.
SJ
I get it twice a year – on my birthday and on valentines day so whatever it takes! This year I even got a decent present back (in addition to the ‘it’) so I am now converted.
In 50yrs time I will be 80yrs old and whether the robots movements are jerky or not is probably not going to be a concern. And she will never be too tired….
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Without trying to sound like a giggling little school girl….. What was the it? What was the it? tell me !
SJ
Shirvy, I could have sworn that you already have someone at home in the kitchen, cooking your dinners, cleaning your house and bringing you beer???
SJ, I enjoyed today’s topic.
Woody, you are a big fat crawler. It seems to work for you however, so I will limit my criticism.
Jethro, you are a dimwitted dwarf brained brute!
Blowgirl, do you?
Marteeen, even I get “IT” more than twice a year!
Miss Sydney, are you single? What area of Sydney do you live in?
Megabevan, as usual your responses are a waste of space!
iamasmartman.com what makes you think that i would tell you where i live? What are you planning to visit me or something?
and what do you mean by even ‘you’ get it more than once a year? are you some sort of elephant man?
Maybe I could have a talk to Marteens significant other to talk her around to more than twice a year
Harsh Megamanmoorey, harsh!
I used to try and use the “hallmark holiday” excuse, until I realised I usually don’t remember to do the flower thing without some sort of prompting. So Mrs Rabbit got flowers this year. I figure the flower price hike is kind of a reminder service fee.
Yes I do and I do it very very well
See that’s 2 women who both agree it’s not about the flowers
Bit sad, My wife was away and did not get me any flowers this year. Fingers crossed for next year.
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Give Mrs Krusty a slap accross the face for that! disarm her first.
SJ
Miss Sydney, I would be interested in catching up if you are? I’m not ugly, but I haven’t had much success on the dating scene so far.
Rabbit, if you need to be reminded to “service” your wife, then you’re in trouble!
Blowgirl, if things don’t work out between Miss Sydney & I, then maybe we could hook up? Do you happen to know any bird lovers?
Krusty, your wife & I spent a nice Valentines day together.
Miss Sydney is a man IASM….how do I know this you ask? He works in the same office as me. If you are still interested in hooking up with him, let me know and I can pass his details on?
Couldnt have happened to a nicer person!
Marteen I used to be a man, but not anymore! ha ha!
iamasmartman.com i don’t know anything about you yet. Tell me about yourself. How old are you? What are your interests? And why no luck on the dating scene?
I didn’t think i’d be asked out on notasmartman.com
Miss Sydney, sorry for the confusion. I wasn’t asking you out. “Catching up” to me means me finding out that you are a male & making you “pay” with your health!!!!!
Marteeen, thanks for exposing the freak. Is he at least good-looking?
Blowgirl, are you still interested?
Iamashallowman.com i don’t work with Marteen and i’m not, never will be, or never was a man.
Your loss…good luck with blowgirl
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She has you there Iamashallowman.com.
SJ
I was only joking Miss Beautiful Sydney. I am still very keen to have that date.
Tell me why i should go out with you?
I’m reading what you write and you come across very aggressive and abusive….two traits that no women like
Miss Beautiful Sydney,
I am fit.
I am a caring selfless lover.
I am/have the full “package.”
I despise Bevans & all their ilk.
I can buy you lots & lots of nice things.
Miss Beautiful Sydney, have I offended you?